I'm almost ready to vote and then enjoy the election night show! Thanks, text message alerts!

Special treats: Cheeseburgers (maybe?), sweetened saltines cream cheese chocolate truffles, fruit-flavored juice drink (sugar free!)

If you're going to vote and don't find any of the listed candidates appealing, why not write in your mom? You can write in "Your Mom" or the name of your mother if she's legally eligible.

If politics is fake and gay, why not treat it like trash contrived reality TV?